### Are Virtual Boy Games the Resurgence Nobody Asked For?
Well, well, well—look who’s back from the gaming graveyard! Nintendo has decided that the Virtual Boy, the console equivalent of a headache in a box, deserves a second chance on the Nintendo Switch Online platform. Because, clearly, what we all need is a reminder of what happens when a company gets a little too ambitious for its own good.
For those unfamiliar (lucky you), the Virtual Boy was Nintendo’s ill-fated 1995 venture into “virtual reality”—a term used here so loosely it’s practically falling apart. It sported monochrome red and black graphics, required players to stick their faces into a stand-mounted contraption, and gave more people headaches than actual fun. But hey, nostalgia is a powerful drug, right?
So, let’s rank these Virtual Boy classics (a word used here with extreme sarcasm) now available on Nintendo Switch Online. Spoiler alert: they’re exactly as gloriously bad as you remember.
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### The “Best” Virtual Boy Games (Like There’s Such a Thing)
#### **1. Virtual Boy Wario Land**
This game is widely regarded as the Virtual Boy’s magnum opus, which is kind of like being the most functional car in a junkyard. It’s a Wario platformer, so expect some solid gameplay, quirky humor, and—oh, right—a color palette that looks like it was designed by a malfunctioning traffic light. Still, it’s the savior of the Virtual Boy lineup, because the bar is so low it’s practically underground.
#### **2. Mario’s Tennis**
Ah, Mario’s Tennis. The game that launched a thousand migraines. It’s basically tennis, but with Mario characters and, of course, those delightful red-and-black visuals that will have you reaching for aspirin within minutes. On the bright side, it’s one of the few Virtual Boy games that doesn’t feel like a fever dream. Progress?
#### **3. Red Alarm**
Imagine if Star Fox went on a minimalist bender and came back as a wireframe model of its former self. That’s Red Alarm for you. It’s a 3D shooter where you fly a spaceship through—well, it’s hard to say exactly what, because the graphics look like someone spilled spaghetti on graph paper. But hey, points for ambition, I guess?
#### **4. Galactic Pinball**
Finally, a game that answers the question, “What if pinball, but in space, and also in headache-inducing colors?” It’s fun for about five minutes, which, coincidentally, is about how long most people could stand looking into a Virtual Boy without feeling like their eyes were melting.
#### **5. Teleroboxer**
Think Punch-Out!! but make it futuristic, and also make it terrible. Teleroboxer is a boxing game where you control a robot, and it’s about as clunky as you’d expect from a Virtual Boy game. Still, it has its fans—for reasons science has yet to explain.
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### Pros & Cons of Virtual Boy Games on Switch Online
#### **Pros:**
– **Nostalgia Overload:** If you’re a die-hard Nintendo fan, this might scratch a very specific itch.
– **Historical Curiosity:** It’s fascinating to see what happens when a company swings big and misses harder than a blindfolded batter.
– **Wario Land Exists:** Seriously, it’s the only game that makes this lineup remotely worthwhile.
#### **Cons:**
– **Eye Strain:** The original Virtual Boy was notorious for causing headaches, and while the Switch can’t recreate that experience 1:1, the games are still an assault on your visual senses.
– **Limited Appeal:** Let’s be real—these games are a niche within a niche.
– **Graphics:** Red and black may be edgy for fashion, but in gaming, it’s just painful.
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### Why Did Nintendo Do This?
One has to wonder what the folks at Nintendo were thinking when they decided to resurrect the Virtual Boy catalog. Did someone in a boardroom say, “You know what the kids love? Games that look like they were pulled from an early ’90s fever dream!” Or maybe this is just part of a larger strategy to remind us all how far gaming has come. “Look at what we used to play! Aren’t you glad we have OLED screens now?”
Whatever the reason, it’s hard not to admire the audacity. After all, bringing Virtual Boy games to the Switch is the gaming equivalent of serving burnt toast at a Michelin-starred restaurant. Bold move, Nintendo.
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### Should You Play These Games?
If you’re a hardcore Nintendo historian—or just someone who enjoys a bit of masochism—then sure, give these a shot. There’s a certain charm in experiencing the Virtual Boy’s unique brand of awfulness. But for everyone else? Maybe stick to the Switch’s more modern offerings. (Might we recommend checking out our guide to the best Nintendo Switch games instead?)
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### The Final Verdict: Nostalgia or Nonsense?
In the end, the Virtual Boy’s return on Nintendo Switch Online is a quirky addition to an already robust library. It’s not going to win over any new fans, but it might just delight a few old ones who remember the console fondly—or at least, who remember it at all. And if nothing else, it’s a reminder that sometimes, innovation comes with a few bumps (or in this case, migraines) along the way.
So go ahead, dive into the Virtual Boy catalog—just make sure you’ve got some ibuprofen handy. And when you’re done, let us know which game gave you the worst headache in the comments below.
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### Call to Action
Love it or hate it, the Virtual Boy’s return is a fascinating moment in gaming history. Want to share your thoughts? Drop a comment below or check out our other articles on Nintendo Switch Online’s growing library. Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more sarcastic takes on tech, gaming, and beyond!
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### External Links Used
– Best Nintendo Switch Games
– Polygon’s Nintendo Coverage
