### Why You Need Swimming Essentials (No, Really)
Ah, swimming. The one activity where you can pretend you’re a majestic dolphin while flailing your arms like you’re fighting off an invisible kraken. But wait—don’t even think about cannonballing into your local pool without the *right* gear. Because apparently, swimming isn’t just about getting into the water anymore. Nope, it’s a full-blown fashion and tech statement now. Thanks, capitalism.
So, here’s your ultimate guide to swimming essentials, as if splashing around wasn’t simple enough. Spoiler alert: you’re going to need a small fortune and a lot of storage space.
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### The Essentials You Didn’t Know Were Essential
#### 1. **Swimsuits that Cost More Than Your Rent**
Why settle for a basic swimsuit when you can spend half your paycheck on one that promises to make you swim faster? Look, whether it’s a high-performance Speedo or some designer piece that screams “I don’t actually get wet,” the options are endless. According to the original article from CNN Underscored, you can find everything from eco-friendly fabrics to chlorine-resistant designs. Because nothing says “luxury” like worrying about chlorine while trying not to drown.
#### 2. **Fancy Goggles That Could Double as Spy Gear**
Gone are the days of foggy $5 goggles that pinch your nose. Now, you can buy goggles with anti-fog, UV protection, and, for all we know, the ability to scan for underwater treasure. Some even come with adjustable straps for “comfort,” because apparently, your comfort level directly correlates with your swimming prowess.
#### 3. **Towels That Are Smarter Than You Are**
Microfiber towels are all the rage, and honestly, why wouldn’t they be? They’re lightweight, quick-drying, and compact. But let’s not forget the real reason they exist: to make your regular cotton towel feel like an ancient relic. You can grab a highly rated one from Amazon or splurge on a “luxury” version that probably comes with an unnecessarily large logo.
#### 4. **Flippers, Because Your Feet Aren’t Good Enough**
If you thought swimming was all about natural talent, think again. Flippers are here to remind you that your feet just don’t cut it. Perfect for improving your technique or, let’s be honest, just looking cool at the pool.
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### Wait, There’s More: The Over-the-Top Extras
#### Waterproof Fitness Trackers
Because who doesn’t need to know their heart rate while doing the backstroke? Brands like Garmin and Fitbit offer waterproof options that track your laps, calories burned, and probably how long you spent debating whether to get in the water.
#### Pool Noodles and Floats
Remember when pool noodles were just colorful foam sticks? Now they’re “ergonomic, multi-functional aquatic tools.” Yes, that’s a real thing. And don’t even get me started on luxury pool floats—because nothing screams “relaxation” like a $100 inflatable flamingo.
#### Earplugs and Nose Clips
If water in your ears or nose sends you into a panic, these are non-negotiable. Modern designs promise comfort and a secure fit, so you can focus on perfecting your doggy paddle.
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### Pros & Cons of the Swimming Essentials Craze
#### Pros:
– You’ll look like you know what you’re doing, even if you don’t.
– Some of this gear is genuinely useful (hello, anti-fog goggles).
– Great for Instagram pics—because nothing says “athlete” like a pool selfie.
#### Cons:
– Your wallet will probably cry.
– Overthinking your gear might make you forget how to actually swim.
– Let’s face it, half of this stuff is just marketing fluff.
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### A Final Splash of Sarcasm
So, there you have it: the ultimate list of swimming essentials that you never knew you needed. Sure, you could just grab a swimsuit and a towel and call it a day, but where’s the fun in that? After all, it’s 2023, and even your recreational activities need a glow-up.
If you’re ready to dive into this world of over-the-top swimming gear, check out the full guide on CNN Underscored. And don’t forget to check out our related article on The Best Waterproof Gadgets for Every Budget.
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### Call to Action
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